This letter shows a simultaneously defensive and self-flagellating Richard Feynman writing to his father Melville shortly before his death, telling him that𝄹 he will take care of his mother Lucille — his father's "most treasured possession" — and trying to reassure Melville that his infrequent letters home do not indicate any lack of lo𓆏ve or care for the family.

Written after the death of his wife Arline in June 1945 and before his father's demise in October 1946, a seemingly depressed and preoccupied Feynman tells his father that he has a difficult time doing things he is interested in doing ("I am interested in getting the Reviews of Modern Physics — yet for the last two years I haven't gotten to write them a letter. I am interested in getting a chest-xray to see if I'm O.K., but for 9 mos. have been unable to — Putzie doesn't arrange it for me.").

Indeed, it was shortly after his father's death, during his tenure at Cornell in the late 1940s, that a burned out Feynman began working on physics problems that he enjoyed — rather than ones that he believed would further his career — and which would become the foundation of his Nobel Prize-winning work on quantum electrodynamics (QED). Famously, Feynman's attempt to calculate the motion of a plate thrown into the air in the Cornell cafeteria set him along the path to creating the Feynman diagram; as he says in Surely You're Joking, "The diagrams and the whole busines🌠s that I got the Nobel Prize for came♕ from that piddling around with the wobbling plate."

Richard Feynman's autograph letter reads, ♔in part:

"Dear Pop,

Mom told me how sick you are. She also told me you are very worried. If I know you, the main thing you are worried about is mom.

I am writing to tell you you shouldn't feel so all alone. I want to help you figure out how we can take care of everything. I am writing because I don't think you trust me to be able to really help consistently and for a long time.

I admit I haven't ever done very much to show that I am worth much. It is really impossible for me to prove at this late date that I am as good a guy inside as I know I am. I am reaping the harvest now of never having done anything that shows any deep interest in mom. I can't convince you I have such feelings when I want so very much to."

REFERENCES:

Feynman, Richard P. "Surely You're Joking, Mr. Feynman!" Adventures of a Curious Character. New York: Norton, 2018 [1985], p. 201.